Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Randomize
