yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
