I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
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