You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
