I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
