Porn is love you can see.
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
