Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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