Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
