Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
