That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
