glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Randomize
