did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
420 ftw
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Randomize
