mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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