I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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