.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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