Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
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