Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize