i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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