I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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