we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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