I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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