I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
