I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
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