She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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