that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
nutella sex= disaster
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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