I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
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