I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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