It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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