Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
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