The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
