So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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