She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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