Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
