Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
