porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
We left the knife in your bed.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
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