hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
We are two peas in an std pod
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
