you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
