Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
She's just so happy...and so naked.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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