i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
