Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
