You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
