Heybabeimwearingurpanties
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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