Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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