Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
