I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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