you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
