I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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