I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize