Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Randomize
