Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Randomize
