hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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