I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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