we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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