The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
