yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Randomize
