U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
