I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
