I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
can u get pink eye on your cock?
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
