So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
