That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
