Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
