Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
