He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
