We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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