My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
