oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Randomize
