JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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