Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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