Did you just see the Batmobile???
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
