when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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