i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
