Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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