This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Randomize
