Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Randomize
